- Thu, Jul 27, 2006 /
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I realize I''m posting late today but pray for poop. A big mess of poop. Yep... apparently the bowels should be producing poop even though they''ve not had much by way of solid food and even though they were cleaned out during the surgery. I didn''t know that.
So pray for poop. The surgeon said today that this is what he was waiting for before trying oral food again a second time... poop.
Caleb''s bilirubin was down to a 11.1 today. Yesterday it was 15.9 so this is a good decrease even though it''s still high. His pulse ox monitor thing is off again which is nice. And his scar is looking great.
But his bowels are apparently slow to get started. The surgeon said that if there''s no poop tonight that he''s going to have Caleb have another "contrast study" which is similiar to a barium enema but an infant form. This is the test that started the downhill spiral to the first surgery so it has me nervous.
I don''t want Caleb to have to go through another surgery. We''re still working through our emotions from the first one. And he''s still healing from it.
So please pray for poop tonight. A messy diaper full of poop.
I think I''m going through some sort of greiving process with all of this right now. I''ve gone from amazingly intense anger mixed with huge emotional swings to this deep exhaustion. I won''t be going in tonight to see Caleb because I am so exhausted and scatterbrained. I''m not focusing nearly well enough to even drive myself there. And Eric is going through a similiar set of emotions.
The nurse last night was amazing though. I really like her. I''ve liked the nurses in general but she''s been wonderful. There''ve been a number who''ve really stood out. Eric and I bought cookie dough to take the cookies because we appreciate those so well.
Right now though I just want to get Caleb healed up so he can eat and come home. Amazingly enough I''m having a harder time dealing with this whole surgery and all that then I am with the prospect of CF. Which when you consider how much I am praying and begging God that the results from the blood work come back negative for CF... that tells you how much I''m struggling.
I have a friend online who''s been sending me these great bible verses that I''m just clinging too. I feel like there''s not much else to cling too.
There''s also the struggle that I saw two babies go home today from NICU. They were so tiny. Especially compared to Caleb. I wanted to be the one going home with my son. I have no idea what those parents went through to get their baby to that point though and that''s what I keep reminding myself of.