Katelyn, Conner and Caleb! » October 2004 Journal Entries » AboutMyBaby - online baby scrapbooks, photo albums, videos, birth and pregnancy announcements

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Tue, Oct 26, 2004 7:45 PM
I'm told that I'm looking a lot better. I hope that translates in to a higher hemoglobin level on Monday!

Today was Eric's first day back at work. My mom and a wonderful lady from church came over to make sure that I didn't over extend myself. I don't think I did but I need to drink more water tomorrow.

Just some musings...

After Katelyn's birth, I remember sitting in the hospital bed after they took her to SCU (which Eric and I both agree we shouldn't have allowed in the way it happened... for various reasons). I really felt like this child that I'd given birth to wasn't my child. And then I felt those weird gas movements that occur so often after birth and found myself wondering if my baby was actually still inside and kicking me to let me know that he/she was still there. It felt so much like kicking and I felt so beaten down by the hospital that I honestly thought that.

I have to cry for that person in my past. Because I also remember driving her away from the hospital (Ok... Eric drove, I sat in the back seat) and commenting to Eric that I had no way of truly knowing that this was my daughter. And I remember going into the SCU that morning that we took her home, scanning the babies that were there and being struck with terror because I didn't see my daughter. Not because I thought something horrible had happened, but because I couldn't tell if my daughter was actually there or not... I was terrified that she was and I'd not recognized her. Wow. It turned out that she wasn't there but that terror that I felt was terrible.

I realized this evening that I haven't had any thoughts like that with Conner. The difference is so amazing. When he was 4 days old, I mentioned to Eric that I kept expecting him at birth to act like Katelyn did when she came home. It wasn't fair to him but it was wonderful to know that I essentially had been gifted with these extra days with him that had been taken away from me with Katelyn.

She is such a wonderful, sweet girl and I no longer question that she is mine. I have bonded with her. But it took me a lot longer to do so then it should have. I still stand amazed at this gift that God gave to me allowing me to give birth to Conner at home. There have been so many side blessing that have come along with this gift that I truly never expected.

Thank you, God!

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Sun, Oct 24, 2004 8:32 PM
I haven't checked in for a few days. I'm trying to be good and rest and that's hard. It's boring. I get worn out so easily yet otherwise I feel great. So I keep wanting to do more then I should. I do limit myself to once downstairs per day and that helps.

Conner is nursing like a champ. Lansinoh is my friend though. He had a killer latch for the first few days... the kind that made me cringe and even breathe as though I was in labor. It just hurt! There were a few times that I almost felt like asking Eric to go mix up some of the formula that had been sent to us unrequested. But then I'd remind myself that most nursing problems work themselves out by week 6 and if I quit now, I'd be furious with myself later. So I kept on going. I was shocked though to find out that using Lansinoh actually helped. I really don't know why it did but I'm happy with the results. As long as I use it a couple of times a day, Conner's latch just doesn't hurt nearly as much.

Eric and I were talking last night about Conner vs. Connor. It seems like everyone seems to initially spell the name Connor. We were wondering if we'd made a mistake and should change it before we submitted the birth certificate stuff. So I did a quick web search and here's what I found...

Conner is of celtic origin and means "desire, wise aid, wolf-lover" And it appears to be the more original spelling of those two variations. So we're happy with the spelling. The reason we chose it was that we pronounced it Con-er rather then Con-or.

Katelyn got to go out with her dad today and watch some construction trucks. She really enjoyed it. Not surprising with her love of trucks, cars and trains. There is a bike path being put in near our house and so Eric decided to take her and Arthur out to watch the work going on. Katelyn came back making motor noises and very excited.

When Conner sleeps, we take some time to read and snuggle. Eric and I have been noticing that even though Katelyn is getting more attention since Conner's birth, it's not mom attention. She is really missing that. Little bits here and there make a difference though. One night it was me snuggling her to sleep. Today, she snuggled in and we read for almost half an hour.

She has decided that it is her job to make sure I use Lansinoh each day. She brings me my tube and then gets a bottle of lotion that is "hers" (it's purple so she is willing to use that instead of lansinoh). She gives me both bottles and then climbs up on the bed with me. Then she points to me to show me where to put on my stuff and then wants some lotion on her hands so that she can put it on her legs. She is really enjoying this. And if Conner is asleep when she decided it's time for this, then I use the lotion to give her belly and back a massage too. She likes that.

Eric is working on de-virusing our other computer which should make it easier to get pictures downloaded from our camera since that is the only computer that our card reader works with. So I promise, I'll get pictures up sometime! I'm taking pictures... they're still on the camera though.

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Thu, Oct 21, 2004 6:00 PM
I had my midwife appointment this afternoon. Things are good except my hemoglobin. Even my pulse was down to about 90. Which is still high but right after the birth and for about a day it was 130. So 90 is very good news. I think it'll continue to go down.

My hemoglobin though is about an 8. I'm not sure what that means other then that it's low and it explains a lot of things. Like why I'm so tired and why little things exhaust me and why I have this headache that won't go away. Eric is at the healthfood store right now picking up some Floradix, Liquid Chlorphyll, B Vitamins, Vit. C and stuff. And I need to go back to drinking nettle tea again.

It was good that Eric was there at this appointment because he got to hear what the midwives were telling me. It always has more impact when it comes from someone else then when it comes from me. Somehow it sticks in his brain longer. Now he's feeling bad though that we went shopping after Conner's weight check. I told him that he didn't need to feel bad about going shopping, just about wanting to go through the toys (at the opposite side of the store) after I told him that I was "done" and needed to check out so I could go home. He felt a little better about that. Then I told him that I should have stood more firmly about being done and simply told him "no".

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Thu, Oct 21, 2004 1:50 PM
Well that was a useless waste of my time...

We took Conner to his first ped appointment on Tuesday and found out that because Eric had (in his excitement which I can't blame him for at all) told the receptionist the birth story, they wanted him in right away and didn't tell us that the ped we'd thought we were making the appointment with was out of the office that day. So instead we saw the one that was the least pro-homebirth when I talked to each of them. All around, it turned out Ok though. But Conner's weight was down to 8,2 from 9,0 (and that was on two very different scales... only one was digital). Not a big deal since my milk had *just* started to come in that night and he'd been proving himself super hungry before that. And he'd pooped so many meconium diapers that I knew his weight would be low. But the ped wanted us to come in for another weight check on Thursday (today).

It was a totally useless appointment... Conner had 3 poops since that appointment (super poops too!) and was peeing more then 10 diapers per 24 hours. But we went anyways. No big surprise but he's up to 8,11.75 according to their scale. Such a big change for two days! The nurse said that she didn't think we needed to come back until his 2 week check. I laughed and said, "I have to agree... not with a gain like that!"

Midwife appointment is this afternoon. They've had a lot of new babies these last couple of weeks so they're trying to get to see all of them and are running a little late. No biggie... I get a nap this way.

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Sun, Oct 17, 2004 12:29 PM
Walking is an amazing ability. Whenever Eric and I woke up to feed Conner last night we'd look at each other and just say, "Wow... that was amazing..." and we'd start talking about his birth. When we'd finish that I'd look at him and say, "I can walk!" And we'd go right back into the awed wows.

This just seems so amazing! I can walk! I can walk to the bathroom, I can walk with out leaning on anybody for support, I can walk with out hip pain. Even the hip pain that I had during pregnancy is gone. Wow.... this is so different then Katelyn's birth.

And I can't tell you how wonderful it was to be in my own bed in my own clothes with my own child and my husband sleeping next to me. All wthin less then 12 hours after giving birth. And waking up with all of that before he is even 24 hours old. This is such an amazing feeling. Again... wow... I keep using thatword a lot right now. LOL!

I am on restricted activity. I had a long 1st degree tear and was given th option of stitches or just taking thing easy. I decided to take things easy. From what I've read, the small tears actually heal better without stitches anyways. And I had a little more bleeding then usual since I was standing up for so long after the birth so I'm supposed to be resting anyways. When the midwife comes for my 24 hour checkup, then I'll get to take a shower and that will be great. I'll feel so much better. Not that I feel bad now but feeling clean will be great.

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Sat, Oct 16, 2004 7:05 PM
Conner Douglas...

born today at 12:01 (noon) into his father's hands. Present were his mom, his father, and his Aunt Laura. His sister was playing in the living room. 9 pounds even after at least two meconium poops. I don't remember the rest of the stats... I'll have to post them later.

Wow! I'd spent the morning with regular contractions 8-10 minutes apart. I'd had them all night and most of yesterday also. So I was a bit discouraged last night when it appeared that nothing was progressing. Laura came over this morning to take care of Katelyn because Katelyn wanted to be with mom... not the most comfortable during contractions! She brought homework and everything.

At about 11? 11:30? I had Eric call one midwife to tell her that I really felt the need to poop but that nothing was coming (a classic sign of being ready to push) but that I had not had any contractions closer then 8 minutes apart. This was very confusing to me. Linda reccomended sending Eric to the store for a small Fleet's enema and told me that it wasn't uncommon for mom's to get constipated during labor. Ok... no big deal... but in the meantime, I decided to spend time on the toilet reading a book to see if that would help things along. It wasn't until after the phone call that I realized that it didn't make sense to have diareaha in the morning and be constipated a couple hours later.

All of a sudden this huge contraction came along with a big need to push. No big deal because it felt exactly like constipation. But at the same time, I felt like there was more. As Eric was getting changed to go out, I had another. Again it felt like more then run of the mill constipation. I instructed Eric to not go to the store and to call someone else... Suddenly I realized that there was a head starting to come out. In force! I called for him, he couldn't remember the midwife's number so he yelled for Laura to get our phone sheet. She couldn't find it so I told Eric to quickly call Mom istead. The call went something like, "The baby is crowning, come now." click. And then he remembered the midwife's number. How? It must have been God.

I asked Laura to feel a bathtub with water for me and then Eric and I (between pushes) made our way down the hall to that bathroom. This was definitely involuntary pushing. I literally had no choice. We made it about a step into the bathroom where the tub was filling and baby's head came out. Eric got his hands down there right away, yelled to Laura for more towels and then caught as the rest of Baby litterally fell out. He told me that I had a son. Wow! Laura grabbed more towels and ran to us with them and then ran to get the birth kit. I looked down and saw mess and a sack. Conner had been born in the caul! Eric had to break the sack so that baby could breathe. He did this so automatically, I am very proud of him.

At this point, as Laura was giving us abosorbent pads and towels, the midwife called and we told her what was happening. She was on her way already and talked Eric through what to do next.

The other midwife arrived about 25-30 minutes after the birth and helped deliver the placenta. I was nervous about how much blood there was (Eric says the bathroom looked like there'd just been a mafia hit in there) but when mom got here (before the midwives) she could see that there was not continuing bleeding once I laid down.

What a difference between this birth and Katelyn's birth!

Conner latched on right away as Eric and Laura were getting towels and such. He's continued to nurse well. Things are so amazing here and it's been quite the ride. Wow is simply the best way to describe this. And thankfulness for God's providence. This was exactly the type of birth Eric and I both needed to help us out as we healed from the trauma following Katelyn's birth. This one didn't quite go as planned but it couldn't have gone better.

I literally am amazed still. And thankful that we planned to birth at home. We had everything we needed right here. If we'd planned a hospital birth, we'd never have made it. What woman goes to the hospital with contractions 10 minutes apart? I've usually heard 5 minutes or when your water breaks. Neither happened. This was all just truly amazing. I'm still on a bit of a high from all of this. I need sleep and it's hard because my brain is going on adrenaline still. Eric is starting to crash.

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Fri, Oct 15, 2004 7:31 PM
Let me just say that husbands are great to have around during contractions. Simply having his hand on me will take it down a notch or two in intensity. So if I get a stronger one, the first thing out of my mouth is, "Eric!" And he comes running. Don't I have an amazing husband? Complement him.... I've been doing it already but I think he likes to hear it from other people.

Things did die down this morning and afternoon. They were strong while we went shopping but that was pretty much it. We got home and I took a nap. Not a long one unfortunately but it was still nice. I got up to go to the chiropractor only to discover that I was there an hour early. But it worked out and they fit me in.

As for the chiro... he adjusted my neck for me which has done a nice job of reducing some of the congestion I was feeling up inside my head. Steam just wasn't touching it and it was higher then my nose so trying to blow my nose was doing nothing. I didn't even have a runny nose or stuffed nose... just congestion in my forehead. He was very pleased with how the adjustments we'd been doing were sticking and he said both sides of my pelvis were flexible and were moving evenly and that this should bode well for an easier birth. I like news like that.

Eric took the opportunity to set up our pool. When I tried it out for size, Katelyn climed in with me. She's such a little monkey! She really had to climb to get there but she's determined to be a part of the action. I had a contraction while in there and when I was done, Katelyn had to have one too. And get the snuggling that goes with it. What do you think... jealousy there? I'm thinking it's just another example of her wanting to be like her Mom and Dad. But how cute!

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Fri, Oct 15, 2004 7:45 AM
Definite contractions all night. I wasn't really timing them because I was trying to sleep though. I got up around 4 and tried a shower (very nice) and bath (ended in a contraction) and that did help but I didn't really get back to sleep. Since getting up, I've been having them also. So I think they're real since they don't go away when I'm not lying down.

Eric is tired. I'm tired. Katelyn is wired. Eric held my hand during one contraction before we'd gotten up out of bed and Katelyn was fascinated. I was breathing, her Dad was whispering encouragment to relax and Katelyn just sat and watched. When it was over, she wanted her Dad's hand and then she leaned back against him and blew out a couple of times. We had a good giggle about that.

I'm feeling like some Farmer's Hash from Uncle Ernie's so Eric is getting Katelyn around and we're going to head out. Eric is taking a half day and going to do some work from home today to help me out. It's so much easier with just his hand on me. If things peter out or slow down, that's just fine with me because then I'll get some rest and sleep. And if they don't, well, we'll have a baby in our arms soon.

But as the midwife said, any contractions that are causing dialation or moving labor along are real contractions... and these are showing all signs of causing dialation... I was getting the bloody show all night. Just little bits at a time, nothing huge. But still encouraging that this is the real thing even if it's not fast and hard active labor.

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Thu, Oct 14, 2004 3:25 PM
Just finished my appointment. More bloody show which lead to my urine dip showing blood in my urine. Not surprising though and completely explainable. So no worry there. I also showed a trace of sugar but she wasn't surprised expecially when we went over what I'd eaten at Coffee Break today (some amazingly wonderful cookies and some chocolate...) Only showing a trace was great after that. And she said a trace is normal at this stage of pregnancy anyways.

Baby was just moving too much for a good heartbeat count. But we caught enough (but had to use doppler) to tell that there was very good variability and that it was very strong. We just couldn't get baby to stay still long enough to count it for a reasonable length of time. Apparently baby is enjoying having extra room with his/her head stuck so low in my pelvis.

Apparently, it's highly unusual for mother's who've given birth before to drop so much before labor. Yet I've been dropping and dropping and dropping for weeks now. I'm hoping this bodes well for a quick labor! With all the bloody show and the BH that I've been having, that's a possiblity. Maybe I'm dialating with this and will just enter transition right away? Hey, I can dream!

One of my midwives is going to South Haven for the weekend. I was a little concerned until I realized that she's really about the same distance away from my house now as she was before except in the opposite direction. And all the other October mom's have given birth this month so the midwives are both available to come when I do go into full labor.

Coffee Break was wonderful today. I got to chat with a few ladies who have now known me for the last 2 years and are in my group again this year. That was really good for me. We talked mostly about life stuff relating to Katelyn's birth and some axieties for this birth. I have come so far as a person. I don't want to go into specifics here but just say that I am a lot stronger and will be able to stand my ground much better this time around. At the end of the Bible Study part, the ladies in my group gathered around and prayed for this birth. That was so special.

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Thu, Oct 14, 2004 5:15 AM
Yep, you see that time right. There are conractions/Braxton Hicks going on. It must be something to do with swimming because Katelyn and I went again this afternoon. So what am I planning? More swimming, of course!

Nothing is super real close or regular, I'm talking through them fine (or would be if it weren't so early in the morning and if I wanted to wake Eric up) and I wouldn't classify this as labor. Or even prodromal labor. Yet.

Funny though... my sister did tell me that Thursday worked into her schedule really well. Would Friday? Saturday wouldn't be too bad.

Oops... another one... and I'm typing through it just fine. Does that count as talking?

Plans for today: Coffee Break in the morning. Then before lunch, my midwife is coming over for an appointment (it had to be rescheduled from yesterday due to a schedule issue on their part). Then lunch and swimming either before or after Katelyn's nap. After would be eaiser because she'll be in a better mood. But if I go before, she sleeps really well when she does take her nap.

Yesterday, Squishy Pooh was Katelyn's "friend" of choice. Squishy Pooh had to go everywhere with her and had to wear a diaper all day. I tried to take the diaper off at one point to pack it so that Katelyn could use it while swimming and she had a small meltdown. How dare I take Squishy Pooh's diaper off? So Tim and Kara, if you're reading this, Katelyn is thrilled with the Pooh Bear you bought her!

We read a Pooh book before bed and if I asked her where various animals were (tigger, rabbit, owl, piglet) then she pointed to them in the book. But if I asked her where Pooh was, she pointed to her Pooh that was reading with us.

She's a little cutie!

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Tue, Oct 12, 2004 7:27 PM
I had some "bloody show" last night. Ewww!! That stuff is gross. But it's encouraging that something is progressing. Because you only really get bloody show if you've started to dialate. Though dialation doesn't mean that you'll get bloody show. So I could be just a little along or further along. There were some contraction like things last night to go along with it. But nothing major.

Eric and I both woke up at about 4 am and just couldn't sleep. That was when all this happened. We got up, I ate a meal, and then Eric got ready for work while I went back to bed. It was nice to be able to chat with each other without Katelyn interrupting though. She slept through everything.

Katelyn and I went to the Y yesterday for open swim and had a lot of fun. She "swam" next to me with a foam block while I walked laps for 45 minutes. For the most part she hung on to my arm as I went along but for part of it, she discovered that she could ride on my back horsey style (even holding onto the straps of my swimsuit as reins). She did slide off my back at one point and was face down in the water but I grabbed her quickly and lifted her mostly out of the water. She giggled and wasn't scared at all. We blew bubbles in the water while I walked and I tried to convince her to kick her feet to splash. She wasn't into the kicking though. It's really nice to see her as comfortable in the water as she is.

We didn't get to the Y today. I went to get my tires checked and to schedule an appointment to replace them. They had an appointment right then so we got everything done right away. But that made all the errands I was running take longer and by the time we got back to the house, both of us were exhausted and fell asleep until Eric got home. Tomorrow I'm definitely going after Coffe Break! It was really nice to be in the water like that and I want to get in more swim time before Baby comes.

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Fri, Oct 8, 2004 1:53 PM
The news for today is there is no news. Not anything big anyways.

Last night I was feeling some prolonged cervical pressure and asked Eric to feel my belly lightly. He said it was super tight. That gave us the chance to practice labor support. I couldn't really feel the tightness on my belly but he sure could. It hung around for a while and then went away. It came back once more last night. If that is what labor is for me this time around, I can handle that!

Had a chiropractor appointment today. His comment was that I was really getting close to labor. Apparently there's this point on the spine down near the pelvis that gets looser and looser the closer a woman gets to labor. Mine are super loose. Or as he said, "Swimmy." Ok. So I'm close to labor. I knew that already... sometime within the next 0-3 weeks, I should have a new baby in my arms.

I also had my first dreams this entire pregnancy that had me pregnant or giving birth. Two nights ago I dreamt that I started teaching again at WCCS. It was a lot of fun and on the first day, everybody got to meet Katelyn and also commented on my very round belly and how I was going to be giving birth soon. My latest dream was last night. My midwife was over and was checking my belly. All of a sudden she wanted my pants pulled down which was odd because she doesn't do internals like many OB's do. But when I got my pants down a little, there was Baby's head already out. Now that is truly a dream labor! I didn't get to check boy or girl before I woke up though... I was too interested in calling Eric because he hadn't been able to make that appointment.

Katelyn has been fussier then usual. She dislikes naps and is having a hard time falling asleep at night too. But with this lack of sleep comes some general grumpiness during the day. Makes me wonder what is going on inside of her.

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